May 2012
News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
Britain: wat.
News in America: man throws intestines at police
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Humans have two hands
lurkskywalker: One for holding burritos and one for touching butts.
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brakhage: i used to be a person but now i’m a blog
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huntwerk: justin timberlake justin timberocean justin timberpond justin timbersea justin timbercreek justin timberstream
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mynightmaresareaboutlosingyou: How can a man like John Green write something as gut-wrenchingly heart-breaking as tfios  and then throw himself against a wall to test if he is an octopus just how
May 31st
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A haiku about getting out of bed
no no no no no  no no no no no no no no no no no no
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ass-n-titties: im that guy that laughs at their own jokes because fuck you at least i thought it was funny
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✂: post photo of yourself æ: tell 5 things about your best friend ✌: share 5 things that you really want ♡: share 5 favourite songs ❁: share 5 favourite blogs ✓: tell 5 facts about yourself ♧: share 5 facts about your appearance ☆: share your current mood ✖: something you hate ☼: something you love ϟ: ask anything
May 31st
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whenever you feel ordinary just remember that youre the only one with that url
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I'd care if the person I reblogged this from...
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theatomicboom: omg i don’t get penises at all like, they’re just there between your legs, flopping around when not in use and you have hold it for pee and they press up against your zipper if you get horny and i just like how awkward is that i don’t get you penises 
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WatchWatch
weareallstoriesintheend: wilsoncarestoomuch: thegirlwiththeblueribbon: uss-special: nightmareloki: rosiebeck: This is the best video in existence. Your argument is invalid. Jesus christ, stop it. I thought this was going to be some inspirational words or a heart-filled shout out.. I should learn to expect the unexpected with Barrowman. what was my life before i saw this? john...
May 31st
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basically all my sentences start with one of these ok so basically omg no but seriously Yeah Well… actually ok wow ok wow (or wow ok) wait but wait no wait guys oh wow so like
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tothewater: why do cute innocent japanese school girls always turn out to be the horniest bitches
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beautiful-fuck-ups: My Little Kony
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Reblog if you're a cuddler.
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textposter2: if you’re ever mugged by someone just scream ‘SWIPER NO SWIPING’ at them and by the rules of crime they have to stop
May 31st
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